NPC Shawn Ray Grand Prix!

My, oh, my... where do I even begin??

1)  Within 7 days I have challenged myself to face 7 of my life's biggest fears and weaknesses and have competed in my first 2 bodybuilding competitions.  

2)  Within 9 weeks of weight training for the first time, I have completely transformed my mind and body's shape, size, strength and power.

3)  Within 1 year, I have grown up immensely, moreso than I ever imagined could be possible in such a short period of time.  This personal development has never felt so good.  

The words "Thank You" don't even measure up to the gratitude, the appreciation, the absolute love I feel right now.  I cannot say it enough, but I thank my Mother, my Father, my family, friends and lover for everything.  Without you all, I would be a lost star in the night sky.  Without you all, I would be small and insignificant.  But I am big, I am bold and I am beautiful now that you have given me purpose.  I will continue to serve, I will continue to grow and I will continue to inspire.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

With Shawn Ray's show being my 2nd competition, and the first nationally qualifying at that, I knew very well that I was going up against women who have been training for years and who have much more experience over me.  I wasn't scared though.  Why?  Because I know that to get anywhere in life we must be brave enough to take those first steps.  I know that in order to be better we must surround myself with the best of the best.  I know that we must learn from the leaders and lead ourselves, accordingly.  And I know that if I plan on winning 1st place one day, I need to expose myself and get known in the bodybuilding world.  

Well, guess what?  I will be known and I will be great.  I believe it with all my heart and as long as there is Heart, nothing is going to get in my way.  That's determination for ya!

To my left: Frank Robinson from The Mouth & The Muscle and IFBB Pro Shawn Ray

To my right:  Promoter and IFBB Pro Rich Siegelman

Note:  More pictures to come so stay tuned!

Thirsty Thursday

I am 2 days out from my second competition.  I know I had 1-2 days of carbs and lots of water after last Saturday's Big Cat, but I am feeling a lot more drained from this week's carb and water depletion than I did before the first show.  I just have to hang in there for 2 more days and I'll get to puff up again haha.  All I really want right now is an ice cube.  OMG.

My moods are swinging like crazy but I'm training hard as always.  Last night was really tough though with it being my last real workout before this weekend's Shawn Ray competition.  I worked my upper body with supersets and giant sets and ended up with watery eyes as I mentally and physically struggled to keep focused.  It took me a couple minutes to gather myself and kick things back into gear.  I took some deep breaths and was determined to finish the workout I had started.  Needless to say, the entire gym heard me scream as I killed the last of my exercises.  (Hey, you do what you gotta do!)  

So, half the time I write out my workouts in my journal and the other half of the time my trainer does it for me.  Usually those days are when I'm working my upper body and my hands are too numb to write anything legible anyways hahaha.  I opened up my journal this morning to start logging my nutrition for the day and to my surprise I saw this note he wrote!

"Great work tonight!  I know you struggled with carbohydrate depletion and accompanying emotions, but you pushed through the pain and completed the hardest of your upper-body workouts to-date. No one works as hard as you, or does what you do, day-in and day-out, and it shows.  Keep up the good work and success will surely follow."  - Trainer

This put a big smile on my face because it's just really nice to be reassured that all my efforts are being acknowledged and appreciated.  I had my moment but I snapped out of it when I needed to.  I have definitely come a long way both mentally and physically since I began my life transformation in January 2010, and I have made exceptional progress this year if not the last 2 months alone.  I am proud.

Thank you, Grant, for everything.

"To live an epic life we must be willing and able to make epic changes and sacrifices."

 -- That Girl

Wednesday Mindfulness

Dear Diary,

     This past weekend was quite an experience, let me tell you!  Never have I ever faced so many challenges of various types in such a short period of time.  From disciplining myself daily with nutrition, workouts and sleep ("A" for effort that is) to saying "NO" to countless outtings with friends (in order to avoid temptations and prioritizing my training over miscellaneous socials) to pushing myself to my limits physically (and knowing no one else in the gym was working nearly as hard as me) to believing in my potential to getting more and more comfortable in my own skin (one of the toughest challenges) to facing my stage fright and vulnerably presenting myself in minimal "clothing" (if you can even it that) in front of a large crowd... I mean the list goes on and on....

Pride.  Joy.  Strength.  Beauty.  Love.  Comfort.  Surprise.  Confidence.  Acceptance.  Connectivity.   Growth.  Enlightenment.  Belief.  Happiness.  Accomplishment.

     I was so blessed to experience all of these things throughout this journey.  What amazes me is the fact that so much can happen in a matter of time when you have focused goals, a legit game plan, dedication, heart, passion, and of course a healthy support system.  None of this would have been nearly as successful had it not been for my trainer, friends, family, coworkers, Michael, God and of course Bella.  Words cannot describe how thankful I am.

     Granted I won 4th place out of the 5 in my Class A, but it was still 4th!  I didn't come last and it was technically out of 15 figure competitors.  I was not only the only Asian to compete at this show but I was also the only "newbie" out of all the figure girls.  I have much to be proud about and with or without an actual medal (which is that beautiful eagle award pictured above) I would have come out a winner regardless.

    A winner is one who gains more than they lose and there is no doubt in my mind and heart that I actually came out as the 1st place winner this weekend.  Cheers to this monumental chapter in my life.  I'm excited and ready to turn the page for this is only the beginning of a wild, wild journey!!

THE BIG CAT!!

I apologize for the delayed recap of my first figure competition but I have been non-stop with my training considering my next competition is just 4 days out!  Yes, I know you're wondering who would want to compete twice in a row with just a week in between, but I figured if I was going to challenge myself then I would have to go all out!!  So without further ado, here are my thank you notes and pictures recapping the epic event that was my very first figure competition.  

THANK YOU

To the Universe:  First and foremost, for blessing me so kindly.  Though there have been struggles along the way, I recognize my personal growth and development as the power of my mind and heart shift with the everchanging seasons that is Life.  I recognize this yet I no longer recognize myself and that is far from a bad thing.  I stand with pride and I welcome challenges as they may come.  This year, 2012, has been the biggest, most impactful year yet.  The theme :: Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable.  I am thus a winner.

To all my family and friends: I thank you for your constant love and support.  Despite the distance, your high spirits and blessings kept me strong and focused during the show.  I felt you all cheering me on from afar and I smiled as if you were all physically screaming amongst the audience.  Your kind words on FB, IG, and Twitter, along with the calls, voicemails, texts and emails lit me up like a Christimas Tree.  You filled me with pure joy and I was and am beyond grateful.

To all my special helpers, including but not limited to my esthetician, hair stylist, makeup artist, tanning artist, suit designer, photographer, cheerleaders, professionals in the health industry, and gym rat homies:  Thank you for all the advice, the networked contacts, the answered questions, the beautiful designs, and the time and effort you put into making me as beautiful as I was the day of the show.  Without you, my transformation would not have been nearly as successful as it was.

To my trainer:  I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  You believed in me from the get even when I didn't believe in myself.  You dealt with my complaints and excuses at the beginning and were as patient and understanding as any good teacher would be.  You taught me so much about weight training, nutrition, and the power of the mind.  You guided me and never let go of my hand even when I felt I was slipping.  You were my best cheerleader when I needed motivation, my ear when I needed to vent, my role model when I needed someone to look up to.  You were proud of my achievements as I grew stronger both physically and mentally, and you made me proud as I proved myself wrong with every new personal best.  Your selfless acts speak volume and I don't know what I did to deserve this honor of being one of your many trainees, but I love it and I appreciate it.  I truly thank you, again and again.

PICTURES

Hair, makeup and tanning done early in the morn.  I don't even recognize myself.

I got assigned my fave number #16!!  Woot woot!

Backstage with my trainer.  =))

My trainer told me to strike a pose for his FB haha

  

Prejudging!  Out on stage for the first time!

After the prejudging, we got to hang out for a couple hours

What a beautiful day!!

I finally get to eat, and carbs at that!!  Yummy cajun wheat penne with chicken =))

I got to also "drink" 4 ice cubes.  Cool.  LOL.

Thank goodness for such a wonderful support system though.

Thank you for coming out Kathy and for bringing your family, too!

After being carb-depleted, I'm suddenly hyper lol

With a couple hrs to relax, we decide to all take a nap...

of course I'm still hyper and my nerves have got the best of me so I'm now the only one not actually napping.... Instead, I'm taking pics and giggling about my half-tanned feet hahaha...

Yayayayyyy!  I got 4th place.  Not bad for my first show.

I'm proud of myself for following through and facing some of my biggest fears.

Backstage talking to some of my new friends.

These fellow competitors were such sweethearts!

Oh yes.  Treat meal FTW!  Delicious burgers and sweet potato fries at Red Robin!

This dinner was well-earned by all 3 of us after such a long day haha

After knocking out hard core, we all woke up to a gorgeous

morning and headed back home to VA.  This entire weekend was

full of blessings both big and small.  Cheers to entering a whole new world!  =))

Throwback Thursday

TWO DAY COUNTDOWN!!

I can't believe it was just 2 months ago that I decided to commit to something so big.  I'm in love with the fact that I've maintained such discipline and that I'm following through.  This is a huge moment of pride for someone so sanguine.  HA.  And it would be the Big Cat lol...of course!

Wednesday Mindfulness

I have been so focused on my training for the last 8 weeks that I feel disconnected from many of you.  For that I apologize, not because I feel bad about focusing on myself but more so because I am not there to hold your hand or hug you during tough times, nor am I there celebrating the good times with you.  Just know that even though I may not always reach out you often run through my thoughts, and naturally, I send out messages of love and care from my heart to yours.  I hope they find you well.

Wednesday mindfulness.  There is so much running through my mind and body.  Surges of energy, thoughts and feelings of excitement, fear, doubt, pride, confidence... Everything is up and down, but I know that I must stay aware and I must stay positive.  I have been working so hard for this and no matter what the outcome is at least I'll know that I tried my best.

I am grateful for all the love and support I've been getting from my friends and family.  Your words of encouragement are keeping me focused and I want nothing more than to make you all proud.  From the bottom of my heart, I thank each and every one of you.  You know who you are.  

In the mean time, I am still visualizing this dream happen again and again.  Repetition is key to getting comfortable with everything that's going down on Saturday.  I'm not just a goal setter, I'm a goal achiever.  It's going to happen and it's going to be EPIC.

Tuesday Two-A-Days

I'm teaching my P90X class tonight and then I'm going to follow it with some light cardio.  I can't slack off but I also don't want to burn myself out.  Who knows if my legs will even function the way they're suppose to after yesterday's insane leg workout.  Double-You Tee Eff, Mate!

No excuses.  Get it on!

Oh yeaaaa =))

Leg Day

Tonight was my final leg day before the competition so I knew it was going to be tough.  But tough doesn't quite cut it.  It may very well have been the hardest weight training session I've experienced out of these entire 8 weeks!  It was well worth it though because I appreciated my efforts, hard work and dedication by the end of my workout.  I truly gave it my all tonight with very few complaints (lol).

I had to do 3 sets of these exercises but here is a video of my second set of squats.  I apologize for the shakiness, by the way.  My friend, Griffin, did a great job of capturing this set even when he had to put the phone down.  Thanks, buddy!

Listen: I know what I want, I want to win.

Try New Things!

We all have our strengths -- the things we're good at, the skills we're known for, and commended for even.  Well how about expanding on that awesomeness by trying new things and getting good at them, too?!

Due to training, my classes have been quite random, but I have decided to take on pole dancing with a couple of my girlfriends.  It's so much fun but it's surprisingly challenging.  There is nothing easy about spinning yourself around and around, looking light as a feather while your legs hold on to the pole since your feet are no longer touching the ground, only to keep the softest, most playful sexy face you can possibly express.  Yeah.  That mouthful of a sentence is just about how insane my brain feels trying to connect mind and body and "sexy time".  Haha.  Terrible.  But no seriously, you have to be pretty athletic to be a genuinely good pole dancer.  I have mad respect for them, imjustsayin.

Your Life is Your Own Movie!

When you think about your life as it has come to be, what do you see? What do you think? What do you feel?

Replay your life as it were a 10 second movie. Now replay it again. What genre is it? How is the dialogue? The relationships? The setting?

Change your perspective on life and play your role as the main character of a genius work of art. This is your time to change things as they are, to add twists and struggles and accomplishments to your current story. Take out the edits, the scripts, and improvise.

This is your moment to show the world what you're all about. The spotlight is on you, my friend.

Your life is YOUR movie, so make it a good one!

Wednesday Mindfulness

We're down to 10 days before I step on stage in front of a crowd in a very expensive bikini and stripper heels being judged for my looks and nothing but.

Okay, okay, I exaggerate.

It's an iced up figure suit, not just any kind of bikini.  The stripper heels?  Well, they're innocent looking but it just so happens they have to be clear.  And being judged for my looks?  Yeah, that's pretty much on point haha.  Except I'm not going to be judged on just the condition of my body, but also how well I pose, how well I carry myself around others, and my confidence and attitude in general.

Easy.  Right?

I've got the jitters but I'm running the competition in my head over and over again so that I will be ready once it's show time.  I'm staying mindful, I'm staying positive, I'm staying focused.

Tuesday Humor

I saw this yesterday on Instagram and laughed pretty hard.
I'm allowed to laugh because this was me just 3 years ago!  Hahaha

My Suit!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have officially ordered my first competition suit and it is beautiful!  I'm a little scared about the French cut but that's how all the figure suits are designed.  It's purple (of course, haha) with a simple yet elegant stonework design on it.  It was very basic at first but then once the bling was added I knew right away that it was meant for me.  Check it out!

YAY!!  Can't wait to receive it in the mail. 

Confidence

I am beautiful.

I am bold.

I am strong.

I am proud.

Sometimes it takes effort to genuinely believe all of these things, but it's hard to deny when people claim I am their inspiration.  If I aspire to inspire others then it is my job to exude the same confidence that I believe my followers deserve to feel and experience themselves.  I want them to be the best versions of themselves they can possibly be and that means I have to be the best version of me I can possibly be, just as well.  So as an independent woman and a growing leader, here I am believing in who I am, in what I stand for, and in all of my pursuits and passions, and loving every strength and flaw that makes me ME. 

I am beautiful.

I am bold.

I am strong.

I am proud.

Figure Competitions: Two Week Countdown!

My competition is coming up in 14 days and needless to say I am a nervous trainwreck!  In order to control these crazy waves of emotion I know that the following things have to happen:

1.  Face the facts and mentally prepare for what is about to happen
2.  Get over this sickness
3.  Cut out my simple carb intake and eventually start dehydrating
4.  Break into my heels and get comfortable walking in them
5.  Order my suit and get comfortable in my own skin
6.  Practice posing again and again until it becomes second nature
7.  Be CONFIDENT
8.  SMILE no matter what
9.  Maintain a positive attitude JUST HAVE FUN!

My goal in the next two weeks is to get all of the above etched into my brain so that when it comes time to do my thing on stage I will shine bright as the summer sun.  Preparation is key, my loves, so I'm practicing what I preach!  Wish me luck!